I'm so far out at the end of some limb, like declaring I'm the only public person looking for 'a revolution,' that I may crash any day. My salvation has been a few avatars over the years who have embraced me. (Brian Swimme is my current lifeline.) They've encouraged my thinking that I'm not off the rails in a society that's crashing all over the place.
So, here I am, maybe too far out, with a mission (another story) to do something that matters, and at the tail end of this lifespan. That's a grabber. So, idiot or genius, I'm full blast ahead, whether anybody Likes me or not.
I hear you, Suzanne. 🙌🏽 yay for persistence in the face of -- indifference or worse.
My ‘odd duck’ fears keep me up at night sometimes, too. It’s lonely (or as Kermit the Frog sang, “it’s not easy being green”). Yes, it’s hard to locate your impact in a dominant culture that is broken. Especially if you are an edge-walker, changemaker 💪🏼🙌🏽👍🏼
My heart and Soul tell me it’s vital to keep walking my path, with persistence, as you are! As any heroine on a journey must do. And to trust that our medicine will reach the people that need to hear it - even if we never find out they received it.
Perhaps an unseen hand is under that limb you’re on! What’s the worst that could happen if that limb broke?
You Got this! What a positive way to spend this time of your life: ensuring you can say, “I did what I could.” 💗
Now guess what we watched last night? Your Crop Circles doc. It took persistence to find/stream, well worth it: for renewed beauty, awe, wonder, cosmic consciousness, energy and mystery. We enjoyed exploring the deep questions and your delightful cast of questioners. Sharpening all these inquiries with energy and imagination to respond to your compelling contest prompt...
The contest and my crop circle interest come from a common origin which is my quest for what can turn this world around. It has to be possible. We can't go on like this. If we knew we were being visited, and the votes not in on the circles, humans no longer being masters of the universe could jar us to go deeper. We are designed to be glorious but not meant to be domineering. So now, 15 years later, it's even more dangerous, and the contest is looking for ideas for what to do about that.
Thank you so very much for this post with its vulnerability and insight and truth. I love the deeper reflection that came out of it for you. I was very moved by your interview and have returned to it multiple times myself.
As part of my own self-care practice, I don't typically look at the numbers much ... I do some basic data gathering every few months just to get a sense of things but I operate mostly on the idea that it's my job to put the work out there and it will do what it's meant to do, find who it is meant to find, and I move to the next thing, because what I'm aiming to do is create a big body of work related to this important topic and so the specific numbers on one thing don't matter so much.
Just in case it's helpful for anyone else, when my monkeys around the lack of importance of my own work show up, I consistently reach for these things:
1. My favorite Martha Graham quote: "“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."
2. My "brag book" - a collection of things I'm proud of - articles I've written, emails and notes I've received - these aren't the "award winners" or the big deal things but the tiny small moments that made my heart swell because I knew right in that moment that the work I was doing was what I was meant to be doing.
3. Imagining a situation far far into the future when I'm no longer here but my entire body of work has been collected and is being studied because I'm one of those artist writers whose work is recognized most posthumously. (Dark? Impossible? Weird? Possibly but it helps.)
With all of that said, what I appreciate most about you sharing this is that it's a reminder to me that my experience of a collaboration isn't the same as the other person's and that something I want to remember to do is to check in with the other person and continue the conversation. Because while the specific single article doesn't matter in the body of work, the specific single human I'm collaborating with always matters more than anything. So, thank you for that reminder.
I know you've already been processing this in the way that's right for you, reached some insights of your own, and still are glad you did the interview. But still, I have a few facts and thoughts to share with your Monkeys ...
1. I reviewed the numbers and I had a really low open rate on that piece and most of the pieces surrounding it, which I am certain has more to do with the timing (December is tooooo busy!!) than anything else. I will be re-sharing it again at a better time this year and I'll be curious to see if the response is different.
2. I shared the piece with a professor in my Visual and Critical Studies program who is so far the smartest teacher I've had in this new program and knows a ridiculous number of awesome resources for seemingly everything but specializes in comic art. She really loved the piece and let me know that ""Graphic medicine," or comics about health-related issues, including mental health, is actually a significant area in contemporary comics." And your work is a really important part of that. Sometimes the ripple effect of who it's reaching isn't visible in the numbers.
3. And speaking of that, your vulnerability inspired someone who was on the fence about doing an interview to do one which will come out in 2024 and was really special to work on.
WOW! Thank you for this beautiful response. And your lovely suggestions. These are but a few of the invisible gifts of following Martha Graham’s advice, to keep the channel open. (We kept this quote on our fridge for years, but lost track of it. Thank you so much!)
I love your dark posthumous possibility. You and me and van Gogh will have a promotional party in the ether!
Thanks also for your generous offer to repost again at a different time. I’ll be curious.
Yay especially for sharing my work with your professor! I lit up last year to discover Graphic Medicine exists. I reached out to the Graphic Medicine community and wrote a few reviews of titles for their online journal, https://www.graphicmedicine.org. Now facing a third draft of “Meet Your Monkeys,” I dream of an editor to review the content and format. Perhaps your prof knows of someone?
This morning, a dear friend said, “I didn’t know you’re a good artist!” She saw this post via email, but never likes or comments on any social media. She’s witnessed how online comments hurt someone close to her. I did a similar ‘unhooking’ when others revealed their own social comparisons with my shares. Yikes. What good fortune to be reminded how we all relate to feedback in different ways.
I neglected to note that a New Year’s Goals workshop was another trigger for my Monkeys who crave validation through numbers. It’s common to see big numbers goals, e.g. “measurable results.” Numbers have never been among my dearest friends, haha! Thanks to you, I'll seek my dopamine elsewhere. 🙌🏽
I'll check with my professor - doesn't hurt to ask! Pretty sure she's offline a lot until the new semester begins but I'll keep you posted if I can put you in touch.
Just waking up with coffee here so other thoughts aren't quite fully formed yet but I am imagining our amazing posthumous promotional party. Who else should we invite?!?! :-p
I love the brag book. Would you share any pages to give us a graphic sense?
There's an idea I have in that sort of category, that everyone should have an Appreciations Page. They can't write on it -- no responses in order. Just what others say, to read if you are feeling blue or want to impress someone. Anybody know how to make that real?
My brag books are actually a combination of different books as well as a digital file. When someone says emails or texts something that touches my heart, for example, I screenshot it and put it in the file or digital album to sift through. Sometimes I print it out and add it to my physical book or binder, and I may or may not add additional scrapbook/collage type stuff to decorate the page. I'll see if I can find some good examples in the coming weeks.
Yes, but what if we really are no good?
I'm so far out at the end of some limb, like declaring I'm the only public person looking for 'a revolution,' that I may crash any day. My salvation has been a few avatars over the years who have embraced me. (Brian Swimme is my current lifeline.) They've encouraged my thinking that I'm not off the rails in a society that's crashing all over the place.
So, here I am, maybe too far out, with a mission (another story) to do something that matters, and at the tail end of this lifespan. That's a grabber. So, idiot or genius, I'm full blast ahead, whether anybody Likes me or not.
I hear you, Suzanne. 🙌🏽 yay for persistence in the face of -- indifference or worse.
My ‘odd duck’ fears keep me up at night sometimes, too. It’s lonely (or as Kermit the Frog sang, “it’s not easy being green”). Yes, it’s hard to locate your impact in a dominant culture that is broken. Especially if you are an edge-walker, changemaker 💪🏼🙌🏽👍🏼
My heart and Soul tell me it’s vital to keep walking my path, with persistence, as you are! As any heroine on a journey must do. And to trust that our medicine will reach the people that need to hear it - even if we never find out they received it.
Perhaps an unseen hand is under that limb you’re on! What’s the worst that could happen if that limb broke?
You Got this! What a positive way to spend this time of your life: ensuring you can say, “I did what I could.” 💗
This brought tears to my eyes!
Yum 🥰 your tears are gifts!
Now guess what we watched last night? Your Crop Circles doc. It took persistence to find/stream, well worth it: for renewed beauty, awe, wonder, cosmic consciousness, energy and mystery. We enjoyed exploring the deep questions and your delightful cast of questioners. Sharpening all these inquiries with energy and imagination to respond to your compelling contest prompt...
Let's put my contest, that you know about, here for others:
ESSAY CONTEST: "It’s January 1, 2050. How, in 2024, did we pull off saving the world?" Cash prizes! https://suzannetaylor.substack.com/p/an-essay-contest-its-january-1-2050
The contest and my crop circle interest come from a common origin which is my quest for what can turn this world around. It has to be possible. We can't go on like this. If we knew we were being visited, and the votes not in on the circles, humans no longer being masters of the universe could jar us to go deeper. We are designed to be glorious but not meant to be domineering. So now, 15 years later, it's even more dangerous, and the contest is looking for ideas for what to do about that.
Thank you so very much for this post with its vulnerability and insight and truth. I love the deeper reflection that came out of it for you. I was very moved by your interview and have returned to it multiple times myself.
As part of my own self-care practice, I don't typically look at the numbers much ... I do some basic data gathering every few months just to get a sense of things but I operate mostly on the idea that it's my job to put the work out there and it will do what it's meant to do, find who it is meant to find, and I move to the next thing, because what I'm aiming to do is create a big body of work related to this important topic and so the specific numbers on one thing don't matter so much.
Just in case it's helpful for anyone else, when my monkeys around the lack of importance of my own work show up, I consistently reach for these things:
1. My favorite Martha Graham quote: "“There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open."
2. My "brag book" - a collection of things I'm proud of - articles I've written, emails and notes I've received - these aren't the "award winners" or the big deal things but the tiny small moments that made my heart swell because I knew right in that moment that the work I was doing was what I was meant to be doing.
3. Imagining a situation far far into the future when I'm no longer here but my entire body of work has been collected and is being studied because I'm one of those artist writers whose work is recognized most posthumously. (Dark? Impossible? Weird? Possibly but it helps.)
With all of that said, what I appreciate most about you sharing this is that it's a reminder to me that my experience of a collaboration isn't the same as the other person's and that something I want to remember to do is to check in with the other person and continue the conversation. Because while the specific single article doesn't matter in the body of work, the specific single human I'm collaborating with always matters more than anything. So, thank you for that reminder.
I know you've already been processing this in the way that's right for you, reached some insights of your own, and still are glad you did the interview. But still, I have a few facts and thoughts to share with your Monkeys ...
1. I reviewed the numbers and I had a really low open rate on that piece and most of the pieces surrounding it, which I am certain has more to do with the timing (December is tooooo busy!!) than anything else. I will be re-sharing it again at a better time this year and I'll be curious to see if the response is different.
2. I shared the piece with a professor in my Visual and Critical Studies program who is so far the smartest teacher I've had in this new program and knows a ridiculous number of awesome resources for seemingly everything but specializes in comic art. She really loved the piece and let me know that ""Graphic medicine," or comics about health-related issues, including mental health, is actually a significant area in contemporary comics." And your work is a really important part of that. Sometimes the ripple effect of who it's reaching isn't visible in the numbers.
3. And speaking of that, your vulnerability inspired someone who was on the fence about doing an interview to do one which will come out in 2024 and was really special to work on.
4. And if your Monkeys haven't read this yet, they might find it helpful: https://createmefree.substack.com/p/mental-health-reasons-i-may-not-read
WOW! Thank you for this beautiful response. And your lovely suggestions. These are but a few of the invisible gifts of following Martha Graham’s advice, to keep the channel open. (We kept this quote on our fridge for years, but lost track of it. Thank you so much!)
I love your dark posthumous possibility. You and me and van Gogh will have a promotional party in the ether!
Thanks also for your generous offer to repost again at a different time. I’ll be curious.
Yay especially for sharing my work with your professor! I lit up last year to discover Graphic Medicine exists. I reached out to the Graphic Medicine community and wrote a few reviews of titles for their online journal, https://www.graphicmedicine.org. Now facing a third draft of “Meet Your Monkeys,” I dream of an editor to review the content and format. Perhaps your prof knows of someone?
I also read your lovely, honest post: https://createmefree.substack.com/p/mental-health-reasons-i-may-not-read Thank you. Living means choosing where our energy can flow.
This morning, a dear friend said, “I didn’t know you’re a good artist!” She saw this post via email, but never likes or comments on any social media. She’s witnessed how online comments hurt someone close to her. I did a similar ‘unhooking’ when others revealed their own social comparisons with my shares. Yikes. What good fortune to be reminded how we all relate to feedback in different ways.
I neglected to note that a New Year’s Goals workshop was another trigger for my Monkeys who crave validation through numbers. It’s common to see big numbers goals, e.g. “measurable results.” Numbers have never been among my dearest friends, haha! Thanks to you, I'll seek my dopamine elsewhere. 🙌🏽
More to come, Christine
I'll check with my professor - doesn't hurt to ask! Pretty sure she's offline a lot until the new semester begins but I'll keep you posted if I can put you in touch.
Just waking up with coffee here so other thoughts aren't quite fully formed yet but I am imagining our amazing posthumous promotional party. Who else should we invite?!?! :-p
Turns out there's an amazing Guest List at our Posthumous Promo Party! Emily Dickensen, Steig Larsson, Zora Neale Hurston, and even Johan Sebastian Bach. https://stacker.com/art-culture/artists-who-found-fame-after-death
Thank you so much for checking in with your professor!
Oh we will have so much fun!
I love the brag book. Would you share any pages to give us a graphic sense?
There's an idea I have in that sort of category, that everyone should have an Appreciations Page. They can't write on it -- no responses in order. Just what others say, to read if you are feeling blue or want to impress someone. Anybody know how to make that real?
Oh I like the appreciations page idea.
My brag books are actually a combination of different books as well as a digital file. When someone says emails or texts something that touches my heart, for example, I screenshot it and put it in the file or digital album to sift through. Sometimes I print it out and add it to my physical book or binder, and I may or may not add additional scrapbook/collage type stuff to decorate the page. I'll see if I can find some good examples in the coming weeks.
Thanks for showing up with your monkeys!
Been around the block with all of them and appreciate a new look through your lens.
PS: I brought your Holy Shit cards to a gathering and each one of us drew the perfect card.
❤️🔥
How powerfully GOOD it feels to not be alone with our Monkeys 🙉 Thank you, dear one!
🙌🏽 and thanks for taking Holy Shit out of the Loo, to a party
Who said we were out of the loo! 😆
haha! love this picture
Your deck is AMAZING! 💜