Several days ago I had this same stunning realization in regard to my now ex partner of 13 years. I was carrying a huge heart wound from all the times my attempts to share my deepest truths with him were met with an eye roll or some other disrespectful if dismissive gesture. And it dawned on me, that it wasn’t about me at all. It was about him. And once again, just like with an alcoholic father, I had internalized their behavior as indicative of something about me.
Thank you, Lila! Such a brilliant insight. If you're like me, you may have to re-remember this one. How our child selves make up stories, that we're the reason the world around us is messed up! Creating cycles and patterns that continue, seeking the time and place to wake up, perhaps to heal? I wonder if I could ever be done with this?
I'm gonna message you a page from my graphic novel on this exact insight of yours...
…thanks for sharing the story…what a double difficulty, first having to hold that oops, and now sharing it again…i got a friend who says don’t write drunk…solid advice, and even deeper i think the idea is that embarrassing thoughts, big reveals, unexamined anythings, all benefit from the sheen of being seen first…as a man who is usually confessing like a scared boy with his hand in a blender (goooonies!) I probably too often forget to filter or at least consider the playground…as my therapist asked me one time “are you just trying stand up out on me”…sometimes the speeches for weddings and wakes are best left for the afterparty or one on one a month down the line…a friend emailed me weeks after my wedding with a speech he made up and it is one of the major things i revisit from that kaleidoscope of share…
Ahh, Mr. Foote. You are one empathic playmate on this playground. Yes... And yet, some brave shit might have a better chance of getting out by rushing past the filter? Who knows what the ripples will look like? We don't get to see how our stuff may plant seeds, like a dandelion spraying puffballs across the playing fields... lots o mixed up metaphors in this blender LOL! As always, THANK YOU for showing up here!
@Christine Castigliano I appreciate this share.
Several days ago I had this same stunning realization in regard to my now ex partner of 13 years. I was carrying a huge heart wound from all the times my attempts to share my deepest truths with him were met with an eye roll or some other disrespectful if dismissive gesture. And it dawned on me, that it wasn’t about me at all. It was about him. And once again, just like with an alcoholic father, I had internalized their behavior as indicative of something about me.
Thank you, Lila! Such a brilliant insight. If you're like me, you may have to re-remember this one. How our child selves make up stories, that we're the reason the world around us is messed up! Creating cycles and patterns that continue, seeking the time and place to wake up, perhaps to heal? I wonder if I could ever be done with this?
I'm gonna message you a page from my graphic novel on this exact insight of yours...
…thanks for sharing the story…what a double difficulty, first having to hold that oops, and now sharing it again…i got a friend who says don’t write drunk…solid advice, and even deeper i think the idea is that embarrassing thoughts, big reveals, unexamined anythings, all benefit from the sheen of being seen first…as a man who is usually confessing like a scared boy with his hand in a blender (goooonies!) I probably too often forget to filter or at least consider the playground…as my therapist asked me one time “are you just trying stand up out on me”…sometimes the speeches for weddings and wakes are best left for the afterparty or one on one a month down the line…a friend emailed me weeks after my wedding with a speech he made up and it is one of the major things i revisit from that kaleidoscope of share…
Ahh, Mr. Foote. You are one empathic playmate on this playground. Yes... And yet, some brave shit might have a better chance of getting out by rushing past the filter? Who knows what the ripples will look like? We don't get to see how our stuff may plant seeds, like a dandelion spraying puffballs across the playing fields... lots o mixed up metaphors in this blender LOL! As always, THANK YOU for showing up here!