Hey, I’m Christine. If you’re a maker who wants to create cool stuff (including good relationships, conversations, and memories) Heart, Soul & Monkeys is a brave space to explore your Heart’s desires, your Soul’s intuition, and the Monkeys in your mind that block your way. Each week, you’ll get stories and creative prompts, so you can show up for your true callings. Subscribe to get access via email, website or app. Thanks!
How do you feel about death?
It’s Day of the Dead, so we can finally talk about it. Here’s how our culture meets this terrifying mystery: “Cheat it! Beat it. Hide it. Deny it.” The wise culture of Mexico celebrates the inevitable end with beauty, laughter, and play — making vibrant, life-affirming rituals to honor and remember our dead.
As I hit 50, seven friends died of cancer. Way too young. As each made their sacred passage to the unknown, death stole their bodies - and their futures. All the moments, smiles, dreams, and adventures they’d miss! An ache for their unlived lives cracked my heart open, so I heard her whisper, “you don’t have forever, darlin. what really matters?”
Today, as you rekindle the flames of loved ones in your heart, I invite you to take a step further: to embrace the power of death to crystallize what really matters to you (if time is short, scroll down to the Tombstone practice below).
A very dear friend is approaching this doorway.
Two years ago, his nose began to bleed. A lot. A super rare melanoma lived in his sinus. Blessed with the best cancer treatment in the world, he’s still alive. But so are the tumors, growing in his brain and lungs.
He is easy to love. His ex-wife, former girlfriends, friends and family cherish his semi-wicked grin, his Finnish humor, his formerly barrel-chested, big-headed self. As he loses parts of his capacity that make him who he is, our hearts are already breaking. Death sucks! And yet my heart quickens, knowing how death changes us, shakes us out of complacency, and bursts our hearts open with the clarifying power of love.
Grief is the great can-opener for the Heart. Some hearts crack open with sorrow, as sharp as a punch to the gut. Some hearts grow ten sizes bigger, to hold others in their pain. Some hearts burn with a love for life itself, the astonishing life force we see in each other’s red-rimmed, sobbing eyes. Like birth, death can reawaken deep connection and awe. The magic of aliveness! It’s there one moment, gone the next.
Death is also insanely unfair. As Karen died, leaving two kids behind, I was so pissed! I sobbed on the ground and beat the earth with my fists. In this flailing and wailing, the mature, loving part of me - my heart - woke me from the slumber of daily demands and distractions. What really matters? As the veil lifted, I could see the insane beauty of life everywhere, in every drop of water clinging to every leaf. Ever since, my own death has been a powerful teacher and ally.
Steve Jobs famously spoke of his daily relationship to his own death:
“Since I was 17, I’ve looked in the mirror every morning and asked: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered... Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important… There is no reason not to follow your heart… Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.
That’s why Heart, Soul & Monkeys is here.
Your Heart knows what matters. Your Soul’s intuitions point out the way. Your Monkeys are the internalized voices of fear, pride, and expectations that stop and distract you. It’s messy! I need daily practices and skills to sort it. You too?
My morning ritual often includes a dance with my own death. Creating an imaginary skeleton with my hands, I sculpt my skull, then down the vertebra of my spine, tracing the sweeping curves of ribs and pelvis, and the long bones and joints of my arms, legs, and feet that support me. Then we dance — maybe a waltz, or a funky tango.
Death is the best imaginary dance partner ever. She’s exactly my own size. Holding her close, I ask, “What do I need to know this day? I always get the same message. “Live. Live this moment, this day, freely. Be not afraid to LIVE.”
What does living fully mean for you?
Want clarity? Here’s your invitation.
Take a mini-journey of imagination to discover your Soul's intuitive guidance. How will you be remembered after you’re gone? The Tombstone practice is from my deck, “HeartsQuest: Creative Tools to Navigate Change,” available at HeartsQuest.com. Note: This is a brave, badass, Jedi-level practice. Writing epitaphs (for others) in verse is a tradition of Dios de los Muertos, too! From Wikipedia:
Calaveras literarias (lit. "literary skulls") are mocking, light-hearted epitaphs mostly dedicated to friends, classmates, co-workers, or family members (living or dead)
Here’s a video reading of the Holy Sh*t! version of the Tombstone tool (from my video series, “Live from the Loo”.) With lots of love and spontaneous songs.
Thank you for being brave enough to consider your own death! A powerful way to connect with your heart, soul, and what really matters - despite the Monkeys that work hard to distract you. I’d love your thoughts on this practice... Please drop a note on the website or app. More to come, darlin!
I absolutely will! I actually sat with the whole concept during some energy work this morning and there was so much richness in it...it was, interestingly enough, full of LIFE!
Such an inspired and inspiring creative force, dear friend. So happy you have launched and I look forward to steeping in your musings and wisdoms here. Many blessings on your new creation! XOXOX