Greetings Brave Makers. It’s Flourishing Friday. Do you ever muck around in other peoples’ business? Same. In today’s 5-minute practice (jump below), we step into an imaginary Hula Hoop, which marks the extent of what we can truly control: ourselves. Let’s (stop wasting time) empower our full energy so we can share our creative voice.
Follow along in the video above, featuring my ridiculous alter ego, sharing the Holy Sh*t version of the practice. Or scroll down for steps and additional prompts, below.
As Brave Makers, we have more than enough challenges (my Monkeys include Distraction, Indecision, Too-much-crap-on-my-desk, Perfection, Imposter, etc.).
So why the h*ck do I focus on my partner’s every move? I’ve adored this man for 36 years. Still, the way he loads the dishwasher is all wrong. He makes many, many noises that disturb my Highly Sensitive Monkey (I swear his whole family has Obsessive Burp Disease and Throat-clearing Tendencies. They all need an operation). His deliberate way of speaking drives Mr. Impatient Monkey to count slowly and silently (as I wait for his thoughts to arrive from his mouth.)
This morning, it became My Job to solve my partners’ creative challenges. Because I’m an expert on How You Should Handle Your Sh*t.
Nobody loves that person who knows exactly what you need to solve/mend/heal/fix your issues. Do friends suggest a certain supplement or exercise routine? If only I meditated daily, all of my self-sabotaging Monkeys would politely say, “Farewell, Adieu, Bye-Bye,” and slip into the void of Oneness.
WTF? Why do I feel it’s ok to blithely step across the living room and fix him? Yes, we’re close life partners. But that’s a line I don’t want to cross. I even made this song sketch, “You are Not My Job,” as a mantra to remind me, to mind my own beezwax:
This 5-minute creative practice helps us be more aware of how we spend our time and energy.
Which is all we can truly control (but I prefer the vibe of gentle influence over ‘control’). You got this!
5 min. Hula Hoop Practice: What can I actually control?
BREATHE deep. Let out a big sigh: “ahhhh...”
RECALL a time you tried to get someone to do things your way. Or someone tried to make you do what they wanted. How did that feel?
IMAGINE standing inside a Hula Hoop. Hold it waist high. Notice its color, weight, size.
FEEL the edges of this circle. You can only control what’s inside; in other words, YOU.
SAY this: “I’m responsible for everything that happens inside this hoop. All my feelings and attitudes are up to ME. Nobody can change what’s in my hoop, and I can’t make anybody do what I want. They’re outside of my hoop.”
REFLECT when done: “I noticed…”
Make it Real: Recognize your boundaries
EXPLORE: Write or tell someone about your Hoop.
CREATE: Get a real Hula Hoop. Hold it, spin it, dance in your sphere of ‘response-ability.’
MANIFEST: This week, imagine that you ‘wear’ your Hoop when you’re out and about. Imagine others’ Hoops, too. Notice if you try to change them, or if they try to change you. How does that feel?
Thank you for creating the felt sense of your own boundary, so you can stand in the Hula Hoop of your unique voice (instead of making futile attempts to change others 🤪).1 This mini-practice is from my deck of self-care tools, “HeartsQuest: Creative Tools to Navigate Change,” available at HeartsQuest.com/store.
I bow to you, Brave One. Thank you for your Brave comments, and little hearts (likes). Know someone who loves to get up in other’s business? Share this, please!
More to come,
As a multi-passionate maker, I’ve faced the Monkeys of Fear in many creative corners. 🙉🙊🙈My writing, illustration, and design work has appeared in Time Magazine, feature films and television, newspapers, and YA fantasy novels. I’ve sung and performed on stages and festivals on the West Coast. My HeartsQuest creative healing decks are used in therapeutic settings (and in bathrooms across the USA - Holy Sh*t! 52 Self-Care Tools for People Who Poo 💩). More at HeartsQuest.com. 💗 I love to encourage you to show up for what YOU love most.
Lineage of this practice: 🙏🏼 I am grateful to learn the Native American concept of this Sacred Hoop from a beautiful elder, Uncle Rod, via collaborator Alice Saliba.
Nosey Monkeys Know Best!