What if Your Body is Your Lover?
A 5-minute practice to melt the clenches of the Monkeys Who Work Too Hard
It’s Flourishing Friday! Let’s build our Mostly Brave creative muscles so we can make beauty. Do you hunch over your phone, clench your butt and scrunch your shoulders, like me? Today’s 5-min. practice (jump below) melts body tension with love. Plus, a song for our sponsor, Earth.
Get stuck in your head much?
If you write, make things, or do other human stuff, your sense of Self likely centers in your brain. Unless you’re an athletic type, you’re probably less conscious of your Body.
My Workaholic Monkeys can push me to sit for long hours at my desk with nary a break. I’m so tightly focused (undiagnosed ADHD?) that I ignore my body’s sensations. Her messages feel like vague hints coming from far away, down in the basement:
Bladder: Full.
Neck: bent.
Jaw: clenched.
Forehead: furrowed.
Breath: super shallow, for hours.1
My body wants to be heard. And respected.
But first, I just gotta finish this one thing… Sound familiar?
Meanwhile, my sweetheart is slowly healing from his second back surgery in two years. How did this happen? A lifetime habit of HELPING. A Helpful Monkey is good, until he compels you to help a friend move (after a 50-hour week, plus renovating your home). Or if he pressures you to work harder and faster for your clients. Or to carry a 180-pound friend on your back across a river.
At some point, we pay a painful price for our patriarchal conditioning and obsessive Monkey mind bizness (“you gotta this, you betta that, you’re not good enough unless…”).
What if my body is a goddess, who says:
I’m far more vital to you than a machine to help you consume and construct more things.
I’m not a lump of playdough that you must mold into a sexier, thinner, stronger shape to prove your worth.
I’m your Actual Life.
Yet when she hurts…
We’re taught to push through pain like good soldiers of capitalism. We twist our bodies into strange contours to achieve our goals. Look at us, bent over our phones for hours. Eyeballs strain deep in the night for dopamine. Slouching toward…?
You can bounce back with a double espresso in your 20s, 30s, and 40s. But if you ignore her nudges, she’s forced to use a bigger megaphone to get your attention. In the future, your lifelong body habits force a choice: to unwind old patterns and create more mindful, body-aware neuropathways.2 Or suffer medical interventions.
It may seem that our bodies betray us with pain, illness, sensitivities, disease, and lack of capacity. But like Mama Earth, your body is a sacred, impossibly gorgeous, interconnected system that supports you. Your body is your most beloved life partner. To follow your Mostly Brave callings, she needs you to pay attention. To respond.
Let’s love our bodies unconditionally.
Let’s practice ways to tune into her needs so we can live long and prosper. Can you be an attentive partner to your body? A great lover, even? See you in the comments 💗
Today’s 5-minute practice: Body Scan
You have the answers inside! I invite you to love all of it, from your scalp to your toes. This video features my ridiculous alter-ego Queen Poopicina sharing the potty-mouth ‘Holy Sh*t’ 💩 tool. Or, follow the steps below.
Body Scan: How can I listen to my body?
BREATHE deeply, with both feet on the ground. NOTICE how each breath affects how you feel.
VISUALIZE a ring of light suspended over your head. IMAGINE this warm light moving slowly down your body, scanning for physical sensations.
NOTICE any tingling, tightness, heat, coolness, buzzing, pulsing, itching, numbness, or nausea? Take your time. As the scan continues all the way down to your toes, notice if anything changes.
BE CURIOUS about each sensation. Attention is a form of love. Does the light allow any areas to soften or release?
REFLECT when you’re done, “Now, I feel...”
Make it Real: Be more conscious of your body sensations
EXPLORE: Do a body scan with a friend. Swap observations. Where does tension collect in your bodies: neck, shoulders, back, gut, jaw?
CREATE: Write or draw a simple image of your Body Scan, noting areas that could use some love. Post it by your workspace.
MANIFEST: This week, do a quick Body Scan daily, especially when sitting for a long time. Add some loving energy to the light to melt any tense areas.
🗣️ I’d love to know…
Do you sit too damn long, like me? Or did you wise up to a standing desk?
Did you ever HELP people way too much? Did it hurt?
Having a body is nuanced and complex. How do you feel about yours?
Thank you for showering your body in the golden light of loving attention 💝If you enjoyed this, please click the ❤️ or 🔁 button so more people can discover it on Substack. 🙏🏼
Spontaneous Love Song in this resonant cave, Second Beach, La Push, WA, home of the Quileute Nation. Sound, singing, and nature quiets the busy Monkeys in my mind.
More to come,
Who knew: shallow breathing adds to your stress. Say, “Ahhhhhh…”
Tip: Make friends with somatic miracle workers who offer the Feldenkrais method “Awareness in Motion,” Pilates, physical therapy, or Chi Gong to re-train your entrenched body habits.