Please Don't Polish Your Armor. Melt It Instead.

Try the Soul Scrub: a 5-minute practice to free your true self from perfectionism and other defenses

Hey there. We’re here to be more real (like the Velveteen Rabbit),¹ to embody our true hearts. If you feel like you’re doing more of what you Should, and not enough Real You, try today’s 5-minute Soul Scrub exercise (below). But first, here’s a slow morning song from my Soul:

It’s a Saturday. You really want to get out for a walk. You crave some precious time alone, under the sky, the trees. But on your way out, that mess on the kitchen counter grabs you. People are stopping by later. What if they saw how you really live?

Jaw clenched, you grab a stinky sponge to whisk away the crumbs of a hectic life. So much junk everywhere! Gotta pay those bills. Dear lord, look at that rug!

No time left for a walk. 😢

I call this a Monkey Takeover. My intuitive heart whispers, “Do this now, darling,” but my social conditioning programs (I call them my Monkeys) demand something else.

From “Meet Your Monkeys,” my graphic novel about our protective parts.

A recovering perfectionist, I see how these Monkeys defend and protect my scared, immature self. My fragile ego is convinced: if you don’t perform to impossibly high standards, people will see the ugly truth. They won’t like you. You’ll die miserable. Alone.

Brené Brown calls this “armoring up”- the ways we protect ourselves when we feel vulnerable. Instead of embracing the risks of being our messy selves, we deploy defenses like perfectionism, cynicism, or numbing to avoid pain or discomfort.

But what if our armor becomes so habitual, thick, and fortified that we can’t feel our hearts? We lose the most precious part of us: our true Self. The essence we carried with us when we were born. The Soul that connects us with all of life.

Though your armor was built to protect you, it’s NOT the real you. Armor blocks meaningful connections and growth. Armor blocks us from being truly authentic, from being seen, and limits our experience of joy and love. Can we melt it?

For creatives, it’s a rich vein of gold to explore the Monkey protectors in our minds that work overtime to control us and keep us safe. These saboteurs make excellent grist for stories, but your Soul sings the song of the universal human heart.

I didn’t want to share my armor with you…

A few years back, I dreamt of seven human skeletons on the beach. These ‘dead’ soldiers symbolize old defensive tactics that once seemed vital (especially in corporate life). Could I bury them forever? Like zombies, they can pop back up from the dead!

• The Need to be Right

• The Need to be the Best

• The Need to be Important

• The Need to be Perfect

• The Need to Know Everything

• The Need to Control Reality

• The Need to always be ‘Good’ and Serve Others

Who am I without these defenses?

“We’re not here to fit in, be well-balanced or provide exemplar for others, we’re here to be eccentric, different, perhaps strange… to add our little clunky, chunky selves to the great mosaic of being…We are here to become more and more ourselves.” ~ James Hollis, What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life

My Soul wants to share this with you…

She’s a tiny slice of divine consciousness that lives (temporarily) in my body. She’s the one who sees all my ‘messes,’ yet loves me unconditionally. She’s a watcher, observer, pure awareness.² She’s thrilled that you’re here (she adores connection) and wants to ask:

• Do you feel comfortable in your skin?

• Could you imagine feeling safe without the defenses around your heart?

• How would it feel to soften your outer, protective layers? To release them from their heavy labor?

Time for a nice, soothing Soul Scrub, darlin.

Let’s bring our stories to light. See you in the comments 💗

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Today’s 5-minute exercise: Soul Scrub

From my deck, HeartsQuest: Creative Tools to Navigate Change

May this 5-minute practice enliven your true, weird self. This video features my ridiculous alter-ego Queen Poopicina sharing the potty-mouth, ‘Holy Sh*t’ 💩 version of the tool, with a spontaneous song. Or follow the steps below.

Soul Scrub: How can I reclaim my authentic self?

NOTE: This is deep inner work. Find a safe space. Call on support as needed.

• BREATHE deep. RECALL a time of feeling lost, tossed around by life, unsure of who you truly are.

• IMAGINE your body is covered by an invisible layer of armor, a protective full-body mask. It’s one of many ’costumes’ you’ve worn, to fit in, to get along, to survive (e.g. Be nice, smart, tough, etc).

• SEE your armor’s details: any style, material, colors?

• VISUALIZE stepping into a tub or shower, and finding a jar of luscious scrub. SCOOP up a handful. NOTICE its scent, color, texture. ASK: am I ready to slough off this layer, to reveal the one inside?

• GENTLY, lovingly, wash away the old armor, with gratitude for all its help.

• INVITE your pure, innocent, curious self to emerge, fresh and free.

• REFLECT when done: “Without this armor, I feel...”

Creative Prompts to Honor your Protective Armor

• EXPLORE: Journal or share about your armor, the masks/costumes you’ve worn to belong and/or survive (in the comments?👇🏽)

• CREATE: Make a sincere ‘Thank You’ note for your armor. Note how it protected you or held you back.

• MANIFEST: This week, notice if that familiar layer of armor wants to come back on again. Use the Spark tool to recharge your essence, and connect to your core.

🗣️ Your turn: Share your Brave Voice.

1. Do you postpone nature walks or other joys to serve the Monkeys in your mind?

2. Do you chat with your Soul, or is this a weird concept for you?

3. What kind of armor is ready to come off?

Thank you for melting your armor 💝 If this enlivens your creative voice, please Like, comment, or share with someone. Join our Mostly Brave Crew, 25% off with this link.

More to come,

1. What does it mean to be real? As 'The Velveteen Rabbit' turns 100, its message continues to resonate (“Morning Edition, NPR, 4/2/2022).

2. In The Untethered Soul, Michael A. Singer shares how to access the indwelling consciousness that witnesses the flow of experience - without getting hooked by it.