🙌🏽 Monkey Breakthrough! 🙌🏽
A 5-min. practice to cut through fake news in your mind 🐒 plus a song for the seagulls
It’s Flourishing Friday. We’re here to tap the still, small voice within so we can be mostly brave. If Monkey mind crap clogs up the path to your heart’s desire, try today’s 5-minute practice (jump below). But first, a brief message for our sponsors: the sea and her gulls.
It’s been a Ball of Confusion around here, friends.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Seven months ago, I began a third revision of “Meet Your Monkeys,” my graphic novel for young adults’ mental health.1 It illuminates the neuroscience behind our funky, repeating thought patterns. It offers mindfulness, self-compassion, and Internal Family Systems theory with a side of humor. So we can soften and smile as we face our Monkey mind.
I adore this unique, out-of-the-box project, but it’s kinda WEIRD. It’s a rhyming, non-fiction, visual, self-help workbook. It’s not a comic. While some of my trauma story is in there, it’s not about me. It’s about you. Us and our thoughts.
I want to make it stronger, share it with more folx, so I can finish it, get it published, and into the hands of young people. I’ve worked hard to get it done, but my Monkeys have worked hard TO STOP ME.
For months I bravely sat in a pile of 80+ pages and faced so many damn questions:
Does it want to be a fiction story? New main character? A young person in target audience? Who? A composite? What do they want? What gets in the way? Does it need more art? Lots of panels, comic style? How to weave in science facts, unboringly?
This confusion was torture. I made notes and drawings, but nothing became clear. Start-stop. Start-stop. Never confident. Never a flow. Wah!! My Monkeys whispered:
You’ll never get this right. It’s all a big mess. It’s too overwhelming. Better just set it aside. Go for a walk. Let it go. Do anything but this. You’ll be much happier!
Is this TRUE, though? NO. I’d already let it rest for over a year. I took beautiful singing breaks. I’d also tried “JUST. DO. IT” for 7 months. WTF?!
This week, I met my Monkey of Confusion: a toddler in diapers.
As I sat with my Monkey book, AGAIN, it felt impossible, like weaving straw into gold. Without Rumpelstiltskin to save me, I grabbed my phone to record a ‘conference call’ with my Soul, the CEO around here. She asked the Monkey of Confusion to speak.
Monkey of Confusion (crying, angry, a toddler tantrum): I don't want to! No! I don’t want you to talk about me. Do NOT talk about me! No! Do not!
Soul: You sound fierce! Protective. Please, tell us more…
Monkey: I’m the one who’s so afraid! I don’t want you to tell everybody about me.
Soul: I hear you, honey. It’s very vulnerable to admit that you're afraid.
Monkey: It’s not only vulnerable; it's Stupid!
Soul: Stupid? Hmm… How have you protected me from being stupid?
Monkey: I make sure that you're not gonna get very far. (laughs!) Plus, don't you want to go outside now and have fun? Yeah, have fun. That’s how you’re gonna be happy. You don’t have to tell anyone about me, OK? I don't want people to know I’m afraid.
Soul: I get it. What’s the worst that could happen if people knew about your fears?
Monkey (sobbing): They’re gonna come Git Me, cause they know I'm not strong! You have to be Strong! Or they come after you.
Her emphatic takeway: DON’T SHOW YOUR FEARS.
Oh, dear. How I love you, little one.
This inner child never felt safe. She witnessed a lot of domestic violence. While I’ve matured, her fearful beliefs simmered under the surface. I’m grateful she shared her truth. Some humans do go after the ‘weak’ ones. Still, we’re shifting what true strength looks like; vulnerability - admitting our fears - connects us. As we dove in deeper, she acknowledged how brave she is, and I agreed to be careful with her story.
We also invited another inner child who LOVES to draw and tell stories. She thrived on sharing her brave work with teachers and kids. 💗 The next day I could FINALLY see a new, more effective shape for this story. 🙌🏽 🙏🏼 👍🏼 Here’s a rough sketch:
How do you deal with challenging, thoughts?
I almost didn’t have to writ🙌🏼e this post, because B. A. Lampman covered this topic so beautifully at Feed the Monster. Your thoughts are not you. Plus they are often bullsh*t.
I’m so grateful for your ideas about intrusive thoughts:
; Madeline Tyler; Kasey Reilley ; ; @Katie Pulsifer ; @George Appletree & .The Truth Serum practice below helps bring our fake news stories to light, where they can be transformed into truth. See you in the comments 💗
P.S. Seven months on Substack! 🙌🏼 I’m so grateful for you, the nearly 250 humans who receive Heart, Soul, and Monkeys. (Should I rename it “Mostly Brave. Self-Compassion for Creatives”) Feeling brave about sticking with my “Three Months to Live”2 experiment, sharing spontaneous Singing for Water videos. Thanks for being here!
Today’s 5-minute practice: Truth Serum
May this 5-minute practice help clear the crap from your mind. This video features my ridiculous alter-ego Queen Poopicina sharing the potty-mouth, ‘Holy Sh*t’ 💩 version of the tool, with a spontaneous song. Or you can follow the steps below.
Truth Serum: Do my thoughts tell the truth?
BREATHE deeply, softening any tense areas.
RECALL a recent conflict when things didn’t go your way. CONSIDER your reasons. Why did you get so upset? “Because ... and ...”
IMAGINE opening a bottle of Truth Serum. Notice its weight, size, color, label. TAKE a big swig. How does it smell? Taste?
ALL your thoughts, beliefs, and statements must now pass an internal lie detector. If something isn’t true, your gut sends you a signal: “Errrrr...!”
REPEAT your reasons. Do they ring true? Or not?
REFLECT when done: “The truth is ... ”
Make it Real: Don’t believe everything you think
EXPLORE: Test the Truth Serum by thinking or saying obvious lies, white lies, and half-truths. Can your gut feel the difference?
CREATE: Journal or discuss any truths you learned (potentially with someone involved in your conflict).
MANIFEST: Take an imaginary dose of Truth Serum each morning this week. Notice how often you think or say things that simply aren’t true (such as “I’m Sorry,” when you’ve done nothing to be sorry.) Adjust as needed.
🗣️ Let me know. Am I alone with these thoughts?
Do you ever feel like you’re in a Ball of Creative Confusion? What do you do?
Do you ever make weird stuff that you love, but worry it might not work? What do you do? Do you change it to be more ‘relatable’ for your audience? We need TIPS.
Do you ever speak to little ones inside you? Does it help? Do you feel more compassionate in times of self-sabotage?
Thank you for shifting stories into truth 💝 To boost more creative souls, click the heart, comment, or share 🙏🏼💗🙌🏽 THANK YOU brave ones!
More to come,
When our dear friend got a three-to-six-month death sentence, I took on a Three Months to Live experiment. He passed in two months 😢 I’m still singing daily.
Do you ever feel like you’re in a Ball of Creative Confusion? What do you do?
...pretend the ball is string and unravel...
Do you ever make weird stuff that you love, but worry it might not work? What do you do? Do you change it to be more ‘relatable’ for your audience? We need TIPS.
...make it...share it...be slightly bummed that it doesn't get "enough" feedback...take a deep breath and be thankful anyone read it...and even if no one read it, anyone can and it needed to come out...our audiences want us or so i hope...no reason to change for anyone other than ourselves...
Do you ever speak to little ones inside you? Does it help? Do you feel more compassionate in times of self-sabotage?
...never enough...