Mr. Stress Monkey Drives the Car
A 5-minute practice to reset a frayed nervous system
Welcome! What’s a totally free gift you can share with family and friends this season? A calm heart and a kind presence. Today’s 5-minute creative practice below can reset your nervous system when Stress Monkeys steal the wheel. 🙉 If self-compassion lights you up, join us.
We bought a slightly used all-electric vehicle (EV) the other day, so I ‘should’ feel grateful and happy. But 15 minutes after we leave the dealer, I scream at my sweetheart like a post-menopausal banshee, aka Mr. Stress Monkey.
“Shite! Just missed the turn to I-5! Stupid Gooogle Maps is making us backtrack all the way through that nightmare again! I hate Gooogle Maps!”
Yikes. And I try to be all evolved and kind and live from my heart. Ha! My frontal lobe was so flooded by cortisol that I forgot the most basic of tools. To breathe.
At 2 am I wake with a hot flash, disappointed in myself. I was NOT helpful or kind; I made the Sh*t-u-ation so much worse.
My heart says, “It’s ok, darlin. Today was a lot.” She’s right, as usual—lots of stress factors clustered around this moment:
Time Pressure + Big Emotions. We’re driving to see our dear friend, who just had his last brain tumor treatment. He’s tired, so we need to get there ASAP. Being with him matters. And it’s the tip of a huge emotional iceberg.
We have zero experience driving an EV, or this car. Where’s the turn signal?!
New Terrain. Never been to this part of town.
Rush hour traffic is intense.
Google Maps - is it getting worse? Doesn’t show the best routes!
I hate spending money and suck at making big decisions. I just wrote a check with so many dollars it could barely fit on one line. Did we get the RIGHT car? Was it the BEST deal? Monkey Business, for sure.
Holiday Stress. It’s not my best look. I want to feel joyful and generous as we make, wrap, pack, and ship boxes of gifts (mere tokens of our love for our families). But we gotta get it DONE, like yesterday. Never mind the chaos.
I let Mr. Stress Monkey take over the wheel of my life several times this week. And when I’m not the person I want to be, my perfectionist, people-pleaser Monkey adds an EXTRA LAYER of stress to everything. Not helpful!
How did I forget? The Magic of a Big Deep Breath is always available. Ahhhh…. A long sigh resets the Monkeys, at least for a bit. Plus it tones the Vagal Nerve and engages the parasympathetic nervous system, e.g. restores calm. Let’s practice it now, so we won’t forget to breathe the next time Mr. Stress Monkey tries to drive the car.
Today’s 5-minute practice: Balloon Breath
Follow along in this video featuring my alter-ego Queen Poopicina sharing the potty-mouth ‘Holy Sh*t’ 💩 version. Or scroll down to read the steps.
How can I melt my stress and anxiety?
GET comfortable. Soften your belly. Notice your breath. Slow it down. There‘s no right way - or wrong way - to do this.
Try breathing deeper into your diaphram. IMAGINE your tummy is a balloon.
BREATHE in, and let the balloon fill with air. Feel your chest and belly rise up and out.
BREATHE out, the balloon deflates. Your chest and belly go down and in. Do a few breaths.
BREATHE in through your nostrils. BREATHE out with a big sigh, making the sound of ‘ahhhhh...‘ Take several long, slow breaths.
NOTICE: “Now, I feel...”
Make it Real: Remember to breathe consciously
EXPLORE: Write or share how breathing deeply into your belly feels.
CREATE: Invite someone to do Balloon Breath with you, making the sound of “ahhh” three times.
MANIFEST: This week, sense when your body feels stressed or tight. Play with Balloon Breath at least once a day. Notice how you feel: less anxious?
THANK you for practicing a deep, calming breath. 💝 When you like, comment, and share with someone who’s stressed out, you help more of us become more brave. Want more self-trust so you can share your brave creative voice? Join us.
More to come,
Brave Creatives face the Monkeys of Fear when we share our unique voices. 🙉🙊🙈 We’re here to grow our support crew for compassion, courage, and connection. As a multi-passionate elder, my work has appeared in Time Magazine, feature films and television, newspapers, and YA fantasy novels; I wrestled with fears of singing to perform my one-woman musical, Spark Story. Today’s practice is from HeartsQuest and Holy Sh*T! creative healing decks, used by therapists, oracle lovers, and People who Poo. 💩 More at HeartsQuest.com. 💗
love the reading of the balloon breath! 😂