How to Sort a Monkey Story Loop

A 5-min 💗 practice to detangle a sticky mess of emotions

It’s Flourishing Friday, Brave Creatives. We are sensitive souls. Emotions are our superpowers. Except when we become swamped by confusing, complex, conflicting feels, as I did at the ER last week. Let’s detangle any messes in your world with today’s 5-min. practice (jump below).

Grateful for nature: places to soothe and reset.

6 PM Friday, Emergency Room. A room for suffering.

I deliver my man with his L5 ruptured disk. His pinched sciatic nerve sends jolts of electric, ice-pick pain down his hip and leg. For five weeks, he's been flat on his back.

He cannot stand, but he must. He cannot sit, but there are only chairs. 

The hard floor of the ER looks inviting for a body that must lay down. I don’t recommend it, says the nurse. We imagine all the bodily fluids. My sweetheart awaits an EKG in a chair. He breathes deep to avoid squirming in agony, which he cannot do.

His heart rate is 157. Concerning. But is it all the pain, or is his heart about to fail?

My little Know-it-all Monkeys carry on a chant that lasts 12 hours.

This is horrible. Did we have to come to the ER? The nausea and pressure in his belly, it’s clearly from the meds. Not a heart attack. Why does he subject himself to this much extra pain. It’s unnecessary. Yeah, the nurse said to go to the ER, but they’re just covering their asses. Just In Case. They don’t know how bad this pain is.

He finally gets a room with a bed. He can lie down.

Take off a shirt. Put on a hospital gown. It’s all excruciating. Breathing helps. Kind nurses draw blood. Attach diagnostic gear. Machines beep. The doctor is reassuring. Still, my sweetheart can’t relax. His back arches with pain. For hours. Wait for results.

I breathe to calm my nervous system, to create supportive energy. I distract myself. Gift shopping on my phone. Yet my Monkeys persist. Add resentment to the mix.

So much extra suffering on a Friday night! He could be at home, comfortable. Why can’t we listen to our own bodies? Why do we need some authority? A doctor, a machine, a blood test? Why do we depend on technology to fix everything? Why do we let anxiety rule?

Six hours later, we’re back home. All is well. Except me.

Good results: no heart troubles. Which only fuels my Monkey madness. They’re stuck in a story loop: The ER trip and all his pain were unnecessary. I keep it to myself, but I suck at hiding emotions. They leak out. With a clenched jaw, I go to bed at 1 am.

I wake with tears of frustration. Not at the ER experience, but at myself. Why do I torture myself with these funky story loops? Tears help. Move emotions out of my body. I ask my Heart, “How can I be free of these boring-ass, useless thoughts?” She says:

It’s only Fear, darling. Yours, and his. You studied Fear for so long. Yet you resist Fear. You want others to shift, to grow more trust. You judge their anxiety and caution, because you don’t want Fear to run the show. Yet your Monkeys are afraid, too: Will this pain continue?

More tears, but with a side of insight. My sweetheart on the couch, asks, “Are you ok?” I tell the truth. Take responsibility for my Monkey mess. The story shifts. “I felt so frustrated and angry because I don’t want Fear around me. But I’m afraid, too.”

---

5-minute Practice: The Detangler (or Comb of Clarity)

From my deck, HeartsQuest: Creative Tools to Navigate Change

Ahhh. May this 5-min. Detangler Tool offer you some soul-nourishing clarity, too. Follow along in this video, featuring my alter-ego Queen Poopicina and the ‘Holy Sh*t’ 💩 version of the tool. Or read the 💗 HeartsQuest steps below.

The Detangler (or Comb of Clarity). How can I handle all my emotions?

• BREATHE deeply into your heart.

• RECALL a time when you felt conflicted, confused or overwhelmed by intense or mixed emotions.

• ENVISION your feelings as a tangle of many separate strands that affect you differently. Notice any colors, thickness or textures.

• IMAGINE holding a gentle, patient detangler or comb that sorts out each feeling, desire or need.

• NAME and CLAIM each emotional strand, one at a time: “I feel... because I want... and need... ” Then patiently move on to the next emotion.

• REFLECT when done. “Now, I feel... and I can...”

Make it Real: Get close with your emotions

• EXPLORE: Share the mess and how it sorted out with a friend or your journal. Any clues for resolution?

• CREATE: Use sounds to express each emotion, one by one: “Grrrrr! Wahhh… Oooooh…” Or draw a simple cartoon with color and line to show the feels.

• MANIFEST: This week when upsets arise, sort out and name your inner experience: “I feel...,” “I want...,” “I expect ...,” “I should...,” “I hope...,” “I believe...”

  ---

🗣️ Am I alone in this? Drop a little comment…

1. Have you been to an ER lately? How did it go?

2. How do you react when others are in pain?

3. How do you handle emotions that persist despite all efforts to calm them down?

Thanks for taking time to sort your bundle of emotions. Please share with a friend who may be dealing with big pain, or fear, or any other Monkey business. When you click that heart or comment, you truly help us be more brave in a world of fear.

More to Come,

Brave Creatives face the Monkeys of Fear when we share our unique voices. 🙉🙊🙈 We’re here to grow our support crew for compassion, courage, and connection. As a multi-passionate elder, my work has appeared in Time Magazine, feature films and television, newspapers, and YA fantasy novels; I wrestled my fears of singing to perform my one-woman musical on West Coast stages. Today’s practice is from HeartsQuest and Holy Sh*T! creative healing decks, used by therapists, oracle lovers, and People who Poo. 💩 More at HeartsQuest.com. 💗